Bus Rant.

Here's my warning: This is a bloated post full of tiny things that don't matter. Perhaps you should go read a book instead. Now on we go.

Today I was cranky when I got on the bus, because my feet are tired of shitty shoes and I can't seem to find a pair to replace them with. And I spent most of my time today walking door to door in the building, trying to give out emergency handbooks and no one was there. And most of those floors were stuffy, warm and smelled (like paint or just musty old building).

So I get on the bus, and I have to sit next to this girl who coughed with her mouth open and constantly wiped her nose with her fingers. No sniffing, just constant wiping. Wipe wipe wipe, right next to me. And, because she was homely, that irritated me even more. She had a mopey face that suggested professional doormat. Some skewed logic tells me that it's okay to belittle pretty people with bad habits, but not mousey people. (Later, I found she had a loud valley girl voice because she had a buoyant conversation with her friend about whether or not they would go for a walk when she got home.) She was reading a book called "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle." Great. An unhygienic, homely hippie. I moved as soon as a full seat opened up.

I tried to distract myself by watching other people. Cute young Asian family gets on. Young-ish parents, adorable little boy. Most likely Japanese, considering dad and son both wore Ichiro jerseys. Awww.

A woman talks on her cell with someone (hopefully one of her offspring, and not a friend or husband, judging from the tone) about not overexerting themselves while running and the beef jerky multipack she bought from Trader Joe's. Do they want one? Because she can get them still. Etc. etc. Doting is cute, but not when I can't block you out. I don't know why I didn't plug in my ipod. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood.

There's a chubby dude with a face that's painfully ducklike. Thinking back to all the kids I didn't like in elementary, junior, or high school, I can't think of one that was as odd-looking as Duck Dude. I begin to wonder if this bus passes a special school like my 'cho bus did. Seriously. Duck dude, homely hippie...there's a scruffy looking white woman wearing a JANM t-shirt (Japanese American National Museum), which is odd, considering JANM is in LA, but she could just be one of the usual bus crazies.

Anyway, duck dude pulls the bus signal (does it have a real name?), and the bus driver roars past his stop, because this is the express bus (shaves my commute from 40 to 30 minutes). Still cranky, I decide that if I was a bus driver, I would do what this bus driver does: speed up as he passes the stop someone requests. True, the bus driver has an accent, doesn't enunciate, and doesn't use his microphone, but...oh there's no but. He deserves to be slightly passive-aggressive if he drives a bus all day. Not slowing down for people running for the bus is lame, but following your route with a touch of attitude is okay in my book.

Poor duck dude goes to chat with the bus driver. He has to get off at a stop that is mostly residential, and the other people that got off the bus are already scattering home. The bus stop he wants isn't very obvious. He gets off the bus with a terribly out-of-scale tourist map. Not even a bus route map. As the bus pulls away, he's asking the Japanese family something, and the dad shrugs. I'm almost tempted to get off the bus to help him out, but my feet hurt, and I don't want to risk him being a total mouth breather. I think about how he might enjoy seeing the troll (which is actually almost right under him), and how he looked completely lost, and I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that when he gets home, he'll be proud that he made it. I also tried to block out the thought that suggested duck dude was the type to go home so traumatized, that he won't ride the bus again for months.

Poor duck dude. I hope someone took care of him.